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“To feel lonely, we need other people. That is to say, it is only in social contexts that a person becomes an “individual.” Being lonely isn’t the condition of being alone, being lonely is the condition of being separated from other people, desiring to be with other people. Loneliness
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“There is no such thing as worry that is completely defined by the individual; so-called internal worry does not exist. Whatever the worry that may arise, the shadows of other people are always present.” Our problems arise from our entanglements with other people. Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga.
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“We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences. Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live” It’s not so much the hand that you are dealt,
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“In Adlerian psychology, trauma is definitively denied. This was a very new and revolutionary point. Certainly, the Freudian view of trauma is fascinating. Freud’s idea is that a person’s psychic wounds (traumas) cause his or her present unhappiness. When you treat a person’s life as a vast
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“This is the difference between etiology (the study of causation) and teleology (the study of the purpose of a given phenomenon, rather than its cause)” Not what caused the behavior, but why, what purpose is being served. What’s the goal here. Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The
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“in Adlerian psychology, we do not think about past “causes” but rather about present “goals” Instead of trying to unravel the why of something by looking at the past and creating a narrative, we need to look to present how this behavior is serving a need or a goal. For
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“The goal of shouting came before anything else. That is to say, by shouting, you wanted to make the waiter submit to you and listen to what you had to say. As a means to do that, you fabricated the emotion of anger.” Expressing anger is a way to short
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the frontal lobe is a ghost town two moths circling an orange sherbet street light
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“The question isn’t “What happened?” but “How was it resolved?” I’ve been spending a lot of time spelunking in the past lately, trying to recover memories before they fade away. But I haven’t been reflecting on it in this way. I was looking at the “what”, and
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“Regardless of what may have happened in the past, it is the meaning that is attributed to it that determines the way someone’s present will be.” The past itself has no power over us. Its power arises from the meaning and interpretation applied to it. So it can always
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I asked my buddies for some help with this: I think this is a pretty good interpretation.
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“Every one of us is living in line with some goal. That is what teleology tells us” Teleology is the process of tracing the root of problem by looking at what function is being served by the behavior, and then figuring out the why based on that. Excerpt From: Ichiro