Anger is a tool

“The goal of shouting came before anything else. That is to say, by shouting, you wanted to make the waiter submit to you and listen to what you had to say. As a means to do that, you fabricated the emotion of anger.”

Expressing anger is a way to short circuit the normal channels of interpersonal communication. When you are angry, you are attempting to force the other party into your view, moving into a competitive field from a cooperative field. Since there are only winners and losers when things get competitive, getting angry actually moves things backwards, as we get into the cycle of revenge to make up for the loss.

Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.