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“When we try to change our lifestyles, we put our great courage to the test. There is the anxiety generated by changing, and the disappointment attendant to not changing” It’s painful to change and painful to stay the same. Actually, I guess it’s the fear of potential pain
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“Although there are some small inconveniences and limitations, you probably think that the lifestyle you have now is the most practical one, and that it’s easier to leave things as they are. If you stay just like this, experience enables you to respond properly to events as they occur,
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“If your lifestyle is not something that you were naturally born with, but something you chose yourself, then it must be possible to choose it over again.” If it’s not inherent, then it’s generated, and if it’s generated then it can be made into anything. Really gets
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“Adlerian psychology’s view is that it happens around the age of ten.” That's 13 in Autism years. I wonder what that is based on? Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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“Of course, you did not consciously choose “this kind of self.” Your first choice was probably unconscious, combined with external factors you have referred to—that is, race, nationality, culture, and home environment. These certainly had a significant influence on that choice. Nevertheless, it is you who chose “this kind
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“How one sees the world. And how one sees oneself. Think of lifestyle as a concept bringing together these ways of finding meaning. In a narrow sense, lifestyle could be defined as someone’s personality; taken more broadly, it is a word that encompasses the worldview of that person and
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“To quote Adler again: “The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment.” You want to be Y or someone else because you are utterly focused on what you were born with. Instead, you’ve got to focus on what you
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“At some stage in your life, you chose “being unhappy.” It is not because you were born into unhappy circumstances or ended up in an unhappy situation. It’s that you judged “being unhappy” to be good for you.” We don’t choose negative things without some positive purpose in
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“For one thing, right now you are unable to feel real happiness. You find living hard, and even wish you could be reborn as a different person. But you are unhappy now because you yourself chose being unhappy. Not because you were born under an unlucky star.” It’s not
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“Look, no matter how much you want to be Y, you cannot be reborn as him. You are not Y. It’s okay for you to be you. However, I am not saying it’s fine to be “just as you are.” If you are unable to really feel happy,
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“If one assumes that people are beings who can change, a set of values based on etiology becomes untenable, and one is compelled to take the position of teleology as a matter of course” If people are creatures of free will, then we are able to change, and if we
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“The Freudian etiology that is typified by the trauma argument is determinism in a different form, and it is the road to nihilism” Saying that my behavior now is caused by my past trauma is saying that my trauma determined my actions, which is stepping towards denying will, and then