They ask you

“Of course, you did not consciously choose “this kind of self.” Your first choice was probably unconscious, combined with external factors you have referred to—that is, race, nationality, culture, and home environment. These certainly had a significant influence on that choice. Nevertheless, it is you who chose “this kind of self.”

They ask you, when you’re a kid, do you want to be a fireman or a policeman? A doctor or a lawyer? What’s your favorite color and why isn’t it red or blue? You start making choices really early in life.

Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.