Too Many || Too Few Inputs

Let’s start with overlapping audio. This is something that’s bothered me since I was a kid. I’d be watching TV and someone would turn on the stereo and it would feel like my head was going to explode. I was really picky about having only one source of sound to tune into.

I’m like this with video, too. When we went out, in the before times, we would have to find a place to sit in a bar or restaurant where I could see a TV screen, else it would constantly attract my attention like a moth to a flame. The fact that it was difficult to do, to find a seat where you couldn’t see a screen says a lot about us as a society, I feel.

Now my son is the opposite. He seems to be seeking more input. This morning he was playing a video game on the couch while watching a cartoon show on his iPad on his lap. This is routine. He chants and sings constantly, as if he’s trying to fill some sort of sensory void. And because he’s seeking it out, he has a lot of trouble focusing.

And here, I’m the opposite, in that I can’t not focus. It is really hard for me to get out of my head, and it also means that I’m pathologically afraid of being bored. My entire life, there’s been nothing worse than being bored, having to wait with nothing to do, even for a few minutes. I had a really boring job once, stocking shelves, and I wrote a fantasy novel in my head as a way to stay sane.

Needless to say, living with someone who seeks to fill the void is difficult for someone who seeks the serenity of the void. Not surprisingly, we’re both medicated, him with a pill to help him focus and me with a pill to mitigate anxiety. His is allowing him to focus enough to do school, such as it is; mine is softening the blow of the overwhelming inputs.