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“The problem of value in the end brings us back to interpersonal relationships again” Because value is a societal construct, dealing with value means dealing with people. Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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“value is something that’s based on a social context” Value is subjective, based on what we think something is worth to others. Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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“We cannot alter objective facts. But subjective interpretations can be altered as much as one likes. And we are inhabitants of a subjective world.” This is where we gain the power to alter our world, by recognizing that our experiences are subjective and therefore we can adjust the lens through
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“My feelings about my height were all subjective feelings of inferiority, which arose entirely through my comparing myself to others. That is to say, in my interpersonal relationships. Because if there hadn’t been anyone with whom to compare myself, I wouldn’t have had any occasion to think I
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“Incidentally, Adler is thought to be the first to use the term “feeling of inferiority” in the kind of context in which it is spoken of today. YOUTH: Huh, I didn’t know that. PHILOSOPHER: In Adler’s native German, the word is Minderwertigkeitsgefühl, which means a feeling (Gefühl) of
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“But don’t forget, it’s basically impossible to not [emphasis mine] get hurt in your relations with other people. When you enter into interpersonal relationships, it is inevitable that to a greater or lesser extent you will get hurt, and you will hurt someone, too. Adler says, “To get
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“What I can do is to get the person first to accept “myself now,” and then regardless of the outcome have the courage to step forward. In Adlerian psychology, this kind of approach is called “encouragement” Neither praise nor rebuke, but encourage. Encourage them to accept the reality of here
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“No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on” You should be focused on your current and future goals and not the events of the past. Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga.
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“But if you change your lifestyle—the way of giving meaning to the world and yourself—then both your way of interacting with the world and your behavior will have to change as well. Do not forget this point: One will have to change. You, just as you are, have
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“That people are always selecting their own lifestyles” People are always inventing and reinventing themselves. Being able to manipulate that is part of the skill of masking. Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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“When we try to change our lifestyles, we put our great courage to the test. There is the anxiety generated by changing, and the disappointment attendant to not changing” It’s painful to change and painful to stay the same. Actually, I guess it’s the fear of potential pain
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“Although there are some small inconveniences and limitations, you probably think that the lifestyle you have now is the most practical one, and that it’s easier to leave things as they are. If you stay just like this, experience enables you to respond properly to events as they occur,