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“on the same level playing field, there are people who are moving forward, and there are people who are moving forward behind them” It’s not a race. One person’s life at particular moment in time has little relationship to yours at the same moment in time. There are
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“In our culture weakness can be quite strong and powerful” People can use their weakness to get an accommodation for that deficit, balancing power. But you can also use your weakness to tip the balance of power, make the more powerful serve you. We want to help each other, and
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“those who make themselves look bigger on borrowed power are essentially living according to other people’s value systems—they are living other people’s lives” If you make yourself feel superior by using your relationship to someone else, then you are using someone else’s value system, someone else’
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“Adlerian psychology is a psychology of courage. Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.” Finding the courage to be happy, to allow
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cryptovirus: 1. (biology) A kind of plant virus associated with latent infection of the host, and not transmissible by many means. 2. (computing) A type of malware that is used for extortion by encrypting user files and asking for payment in exchange for the decryption key.
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“Lifestyle is the tendencies of thought and action in life” Instead of positing the personality and the ego as a static inherent function, instead look at a person’s actions and words, and see the character that is revealed. Since the lifestyle is shaped by thought, it can be changed.
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“In Adlerian psychology, we describe personality and disposition with the word “lifestyle.” This posits that personality is something that we manufacture and something that we can change. Sounds very similar to masking. Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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“once the interpersonal relationship reaches the revenge stage, it is almost impossible for either party to find a solution. To prevent this from happening, when one is challenged to a power struggle, one must never allow oneself to be taken in” All struggles/competitions end up with the loser in
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“when you feel genuinely angry due to another person’s words or behavior, please consider that the person is challenging you to a power struggle.” If you give in and get angry, you are now in a competition. If you refuse to play, no one can win. Excerpt From: Ichiro
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“There is a difference between personal anger (personal grudge) and indignation with regard to society’s contradictions and injustices (righteous indignation). Personal anger soon cools. Righteous indignation, on the other hand, lasts for a long time. Anger as an expression of a personal grudge is nothing but a tool for
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“When you are able to truly feel that “people are my comrades,” your way of looking at the world will change utterly. No longer will you think of the world as a perilous place, or be plagued by needless doubts; the world will appear before you as a safe and
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“once one is released from the schema of competition, the need to triumph over someone disappears. One is also released from the fear that says, Maybe I will lose. And one becomes able to celebrate other people’s happiness with all one’s heart. One may become able to contribute