Is Chicago, Is Not Chicago

I'm in Chicago to celebrate New Year's before New Year's. Every year for nearly 20 years, a group of my college friends have gathered, even as we've grown and spread across the country. Most of us started in the Midwest, and Chicago has had the largest center of gravity, pulling many into its orbit.

Chicago terrified me when I was younger. Then, I thought it was my innate naturalism rebelling against the grid of concrete and steel plastered across the land. While that’s nicely romantic, now that I know more about myself, I think it was more the complexity of it. I’ve managed to move to Des Moines, which is one of three metropolitan areas in Iowa that has a higher population than the capacity of Wrigley Field, and I feel comfortable. Des Moines is a lot less complicated than Chicago.

And this year, being on Lexapro, I’m a lot more comfortable with my friends. In past years, I was usually burned out after surviving the holidays with my parents, and spent a lot of these New Year’s celebrations sick in some way. Last year, I got some sort of flu, and missed most of it. The year before I had a stomach flu and didn't even attend.

This year, the group is smaller. Fewer made the trek this time. Next year will be twenty years, and everyone is planning to attend, but right now it's only two other families. Five adults and five kids. This year, I'm present and enjoying myself. I think this coming year is going to be a better year, and at least I'll be better prepared to handle Chicago like complexity in my life.