Better to Bend than Break

Oh, I need this walk.

I’ve been trying to take at least a half hour walk daily, even if it’s just around the block. Lately, I’ve been walking in the morning, before starting my day. We’ve been under a heat advisory all week. Normally, the boys and I go after lunch.

See, I’m distracted, all over the place. I need this walk. Just me, my phone to write on, my vape pen with CBG. The CBG is for anxiety, and it also seems to help me concentrate and focus on the morning. Makes my brain feel better.

I need this walk so that I can reset. The boys were up early this morning. Usually my wife wakes up them, and they sit on the couch reading stories. Then I make them breakfast, get them dressed, get their teeth brushed while she with takes some time for herself and then gets ready.

She had trouble sleeping, though. The seal on my CPAP is apparently a little loose, and frequently makes a hissing sound that kept her up. So I got up early and let her sleep in peace for a while longer.

I like to wake up slowly. I want to drink that first cup of coffee and read my email. Then my RSS feeds, then Twitter, then Reddit. Lately, I’ve been doing this on the front porch, vaping a bowl of CBG while I read.

But this morning the boys got up at the same time I did. Instead of the porch, I sat on the couch with two squirming boys who were playing with their checkout lane light up helicopters, complaining about how bored they were. And that’s when I made my mistake.

I should have given in right away, had them grab some books, and read to them on the couch. It’s what they wanted, what they were used to. Instead I was selfish, and tried to do what I wanted, and I the end, no one was happy.

I need this walk because I got frustrated early in my day. Once my wife was up and ready to go, once the kids were fed and dressed, I grabbed my vape pen and slipped out the back door.

And now I’m on the sidewalk in my neighborhood, trying hard not to be annoyed with the people who refuse to wear a mask or social distance. If you don’t want to wear a mask, fine, but stay away from me. How hard is it?

I’m trying to reset. It’s already steamy, muggy. The weather man says, No, you’re not smelling the smoke from California, but the smoke from California is creating a sort of cap in the upper atmosphere, so what you’re smelling is probably local smoke that would normally be higher but can’t right now.

Man, I needed this walk. I feel better, calmer. Ready to start the day. I’ve been walking more without the boys, and my watch is happy about it. Sometimes it doesn’t take much, just a change in your routine to make things better.

It’s better to bend than to break. The sidewalk is lined with the remains of trees that failed to bend enough when the derecho whipped through. They’re now piled up on the curb, waiting to be hauled away, watched over by the ones who did bend enough to survive.

I needed this walk, for host of reasons, but also to realize that sometimes I need to bend.