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Being Praised Also
“Being praised is what leads people to form the belief that they have no ability.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
philosophy
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The Steps
“First, do the separation of tasks. Then, while accepting each other’s differences, build equal horizontal relationships. Encouragement is the approach that comes next.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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Do Not Judge
“The most important thing is to not judge other people. “Judgment” is a word that comes out of vertical relationships. If one is building horizontal relationships, there will be words of more straightforward gratitude and respect and joy.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.
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Being Praised
“Being praised essentially means that one is receiving judgment from another person as “good.” And the measure of what is good or bad about that act is that person’s yardstick. If receiving praise is what one is after, one will have no choice but to adapt to that person’
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Thank You
“Thank you,” on the other hand, rather than being judgment, is a clear expression of gratitude. When one hears words of gratitude, one knows that one has made a contribution to another person.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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Attachment to Self
“In the sense that you are concerned solely with the “I,” you are self-centered. You want to be thought well of by others, and that is why you worry about the way they look at you. That is not concern for others. It is nothing but attachment to self.” Excerpt
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Self-Centered
“People who are obsessed with such a desire for recognition will seem to be looking at other people, while they are actually looking only at themselves. They lack concern for others and are concerned solely with the “I.” Simply put, they are self-centered” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga.
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The Switch
“You make the switch from attachment to self (self-interest) to concern for others (social interest).” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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Source of happiness and sadness
“Adlerian psychology has the view that all problems are interpersonal relationship problems. Interpersonal relations are the source of unhappiness. And the opposite can be said, too—interpersonal relations are the source of happiness.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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Quality over Quantity
“There’s no value at all in the number of friends or acquaintances you have” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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Encouragement
“one neither praises nor rebukes. This kind of assistance, which is based on horizontal relationships, is referred to in Adlerian psychology as “encouragement.” As in giving you the courage Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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Work Requires Other People
“Work that can be completed without the cooperation of other people is in principle unfeasible” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.