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“First of all, each of us is a member of a community, and that is where we belong. Feeling that one has one’s own place of refuge within the community, feeling that “it’s okay to be here,” and having a sense of belonging—these are basic human desires.
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“They make a leap from being “life’s protagonist” to becoming “the world’s protagonist.” For this reason, whenever they come into contact with another person, all they can think is, What will this person give me? However—and this is something that does not hold true for princes and
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“PHILOSOPHER: Community feeling is also referred to as “social interest,” that is to say, “interest in society.” So now I have a question for you: Do you know what society’s smallest unit is, from the point of view of sociology? YOUTH: Society’s smallest unit, huh? I’d say
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“When one is not following through with one’s tasks, it is not because one is without ability. Adlerian psychology tells us that the issue here is not one of ability but simply that “one has lost the courage to face one’s tasks.” And if that is the case,
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“Being praised is what leads people to form the belief that they have no ability.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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“First, do the separation of tasks. Then, while accepting each other’s differences, build equal horizontal relationships. Encouragement is the approach that comes next.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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“The most important thing is to not judge other people. “Judgment” is a word that comes out of vertical relationships. If one is building horizontal relationships, there will be words of more straightforward gratitude and respect and joy.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.
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“Being praised essentially means that one is receiving judgment from another person as “good.” And the measure of what is good or bad about that act is that person’s yardstick. If receiving praise is what one is after, one will have no choice but to adapt to that person’
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“Thank you,” on the other hand, rather than being judgment, is a clear expression of gratitude. When one hears words of gratitude, one knows that one has made a contribution to another person.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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“In the sense that you are concerned solely with the “I,” you are self-centered. You want to be thought well of by others, and that is why you worry about the way they look at you. That is not concern for others. It is nothing but attachment to self.” Excerpt
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“People who are obsessed with such a desire for recognition will seem to be looking at other people, while they are actually looking only at themselves. They lack concern for others and are concerned solely with the “I.” Simply put, they are self-centered” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga.
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“You make the switch from attachment to self (self-interest) to concern for others (social interest).” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.