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Life-Lie
“Adler called the state of coming up with all manner of pretexts in order to avoid the life tasks the “life-lie.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
Peter Birk
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The Goal Has Changed
“The person feels this way because at some stage she has resolved to herself, I want to end this relationship, and she has been looking around for the material with which to end it. The other person hasn’t changed at all. It is her own goal that has changed”
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An Individual Needs Society
“It is fundamentally impossible for a person to live life completely alone, and it is only in social contexts that the person becomes an “individual.” That is why in Adlerian psychology, self-reliance as an individual and cooperation within society are put forth as overarching objectives. Then, how can one achieve
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Face It
“You must not run away. No matter how distressful the relationship, you must not avoid or put off dealing with it. Even if in the end you’re going to cut it with scissors, first you have to face it. The worst thing to do is to just stand still
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Parents and Children
“If romantic love is a relationship connected by red string, then the relationship between parents and children is bound in rigid chains. And a pair of small scissors is all you have. This is the difficulty of the parent-child relationship.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to
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Equals
“If two people want to live together on good terms, they must treat each other as equal personalities” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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I Can Behave Freely
“When one can think, Whenever I am with this person, I can behave very freely, one can really feel love. One can be in a calm and quite natural state, without having feelings of inferiority or being beset with the need to flaunt one’s superiority. That is what real
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Celebrate Their Happiness
“Adler does not accept restricting one’s partner. If the person seems to be happy, one can frankly celebrate that condition. That is love. Relationships in which people restrict each other eventually fall apart.” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.
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The Task of Love
“Think of it as divided into two stages: one, what are known as love relationships; and two, relationships with family, in particular parent-child relationships. We have discussed work and friendship, but of the three tasks, most likely it is the task of love that is the most difficult. When a
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Calvin, The Spiffy Spaceman
By John Sprengelmeyer aka Captain Ribman
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Vertical Relationships
“It is precisely because one perceives interpersonal relations as vertical, and sees the other party as beneath one, that one intervenes. Through intervention, one tries to lead the other party in the desired direction. One has convinced oneself that one is right and that the other party is wrong. Of
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Interpersonal Relationships Do Not End
“interpersonal relationships are not something that end just because one has separated the tasks” Excerpt From: Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga. “The Courage to Be Disliked.” Atria, 2018-05-08. Apple Books.